- Brief history of how you met
We first met in our local church. We had been a part of the same church since we were young and knew little of each other, however we begun talking in our early 20’s.
2. What was your proposal like? (Include any funny or unplanned elements that occurred)
Sharon – Derick proposed to me with a guitar in his bedroom. It was nothing fancy and he couldn’t play the guitar, but he made the best out of what he had then. Smiles.
3. Name one reservation you had in entering into your relationship or marriage
Derick – I was concerned about how both families would be accepting of each other’s differences, seeing that we had predominantly different cultures. Seeing that I was quite close to my mother, I was always concerned how easy the transition would be.
4. Please indicate one obstacle you faced while single and how you overcame it
Sharon – I had a challenge with loneliness when I was single, not because I couldn’t have a partner but because I was afraid of being alone. I struggled a lot with the notion that I was by myself however understanding I had to be patient through the process, trust that God had His best for me and not rush was to be with someone essential.
5. What was the biggest issue you encountered the first year of marriage or are have encountered so far if you have been married less than a year?
Sharon – Finances. A few months into our marriage Derick became unemployed and it was tough as a young couple to find stability in our marriage without worrying about how our future would look like. We had plans earlier on in our marriage about where we wanted to be in a few years and how our lives would look like but this threw every plan out of the window.
Derick – The challenge I had was feeling inadequate because I wasn’t contributing towards the up keep of the home. It was a challenge I felt quite powerless as a husband and almost like a failure knowing I couldn’t contribute financially towards the sustenance of my family.
Part 2
- How is your relationship with your in-laws? What advice would you give others regarding cultivation of a good relationship
Sharon – Ruth still followed Naomi even after losing her husband. Recognise the importance of your in-laws and how essential it is to have and to build a good relationship with them. I was very proactive with Derick’s family even when I felt resistance in the beginning. I still persisted and it was worthwhile in the end.
2. Who approached who first? How did the relationship start?
Derick – I made the first move. I began paying attention to Sharon after having two separate conversations with two unconnected people over a period of two years. We finally struck up a conversation with her at a party. After introducing myself and asking a few questions, Sharon turned to and said “Are you done with your 21 questions?”. I look back and laugh now but I wasn’t laughing then. Smiles. Our relationship began since then. I guess my 21 questions passed the test. ha
3. What are your favourite marriage books?
Derick – God is a matchmaker – Derek Prince. This book was critical to how I finally let go of my fears of entering a marriage.
4. What are the key attributes to look for when looking for a spouse?
Derick – It goes without saying that the foundation of every successful marriage is in Christ, therefore my advise is that you know the beliefs of your future spouse and ensure you’re both in submission to and in service to Christ. There are many challenges you will face in a marriage, but don’t let a fundamental difference in faith be one of them.
Also, know yourself first, what are your non negotiables and what can you work with? If you know what you like and what you don’t like, you’re in a better position to communicate this early on in a relationship.
In addition to the above, practically you cant avoid matters concerning family, finances and qualities, therefore it is essential that you discover how your potential spouse deals with their family . It is also key to understand how they deal with finances as this plays a huge part of any marriage. Finally, you have to discover whether the qualities that attract you in your potential spouse are in alignment with what you see your future looking like as a family.
Ladyvirtue 