Overcoming heartbreak

H E A R T B R E A K  I S  R E A L ! ! !

This is by no means an exhaustive list and of course different methods work for different people but here are  3 things to do to help get over heartbreak, (watch out for part 2 of this list coming soon) .  I’m sure these will work for anybody if put to the test:

 

1. Spend time in the presence of God

Sounds cliché right? But it really is the best way. Time doesn’t heal people, God does. How do I know that? Well, because there are ladies who are still bitter about what a man did to them 5 or 10 years later! They would still talk about the situation with so much offence and bitterness, which is clear to see that time may have passed by, but in their heart, they aren’t all the way over it. They may have grown chronologically but emotionally they are still trapped in the pain of that situation. Emotional healing takes time, but it’s time taken WITH God not away from Him. It’s so painful and can be so deep that only God can reach that place in your heart. It takes discipline not to just go and pick up someone else who is giving you the attention you crave but don’t do the rebound thing or try to distract yourself or fill the void with random things, go to God and share your heart with Him… He will heal you and make you whole again.

 

 

2. Stop being a Stalker!

Yep, I said it! We’ve all been there… or maybe just me (lol). But it’s easy to keep the emotional attachment alive by following his movements online. It’s a false sense of security we thrive off of when we check and find out there’s no-one new on the scene so maybe that means he’s hurting or still thinking about me too. It makes us feel better when there’s a lovely new status like ‘take care of those you love’ and we take it as an indirect, by force, because he’s definitely talking about us, I mean surely there’s no one else in his life he could be referring to. And even if he is indirecting you, you don’t need to know! Seeing it will just keep you stagnant as opposed to healing from it and moving forward; your emotions will continually be in yo-yo motion because with each post you will feel happy one minute then sad the next. Unfollow, unsubscribe, block and the like – protect your heart.

P.S. please tell your faithful spies that you will no longer need their services (lol, we all have those faithful friends). But communicate your heart with them and let them know that you don’t what to be fed information on where he went, what he did and who he did it with anymore – this is another yo-yo situation. Our friends really do mean well and think they are helping but constantly hearing about him won’t help you get over it. Again, it requires discipline to do what’s best, even when it feels so good to hear the latest compliment he paid you in your absence. #LeSigh

You will know when you are able to hear or see things again because what you hear or see will not move you/break your heart all over again.

 

3. Be patient with yourself

Getting over heartbreak can take time. If you really felt that deeply for someone, the feelings for them and the ideas you had of a future together ‘happily ever after’ do not just vanish overnight, so be patient with yourself. Don’t beat yourself up wondering why you still have trust issues or why you’re not quite ready to move onto another relationship yet, like your ex has done, or why so-and-so was able to forget their ex in a month and it’s been three months now and you still cry sometimes – everyone has a different pace, the intensity of each relationship is different, people manage their emotions differently and people can also mask how they are really feeling, so don’t compare your process to another’s – it’s not the same, you’re not the same and that’s okay. As long as you are working at it, looking forward and making progress keep going. Healing and wholeness is your portion, you’ll get there.

 

 

While writing this, other helpful keys come to mind… like reminding yourself of your value,… but hey watch out for part 2 😉

But for now we’ll leave it there. Please remember God has your best interests at heart – if you put in the work now you’re future self will thank you for it; you’ll look back in a few years’ time and, being better off, wonder why it was such a thing.

 

Lots of love x

Dana Grant

Dana Grant is an LV31 team leader and also runs Emotional Development Mentoring Where sessions are in place for emotional healing and freedom

 

Instagram: Emotionaldevelopment312

Facebook: Emotional Development Mentoring

Youtube: Emotional Development Mentoring

 

Friendship in marriage

 

This message is a real authentic message about marriage that everyone needs to listen to. A lot of times messages about marriage lack authentic transparency about overcoming, forgiveness and practical love steps one needs to take to sustain a marriage but this is a message that shows that. BE blessed as you listen to this Message:  Need help lovin’ that Man: Training our hearts for relationship

LV31 Team

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How to get it done part 2

Part 2 of our tips to stay productive

We uploaded the first part of our stay productive tips today we have the second part of that.  If you didn’t read the first part be sure to check it out here-How to get it done!

Be sure to comment below if you have any tips yourself

Give up to Go up

The truth is as much of this blog is about being a multifaceted woman something does need to be sacrificed to get certain things done. You might need to loose some sleep eg  wait till the kids are asleep to get that extra work done. You may need to turn off the Tv or say no to social outings to hit some targets but ultimately be wiling to priortise and give up less important things to go up to the new level you desire. Be honest with yourself about what you can do and can’t get done.  Students may need to burn the midnight oil.  No one can be in two different locations at once so prioritise where you need to be and what needs to get done first and put you can delegate or is not an essential in your life.

 

Stay tidy and declutter

Its important to keep your working environment as decluttered as possible. When you organise your work area it allows you to think better and see clearer what you need to get done. There is a saying that ‘cleanliness is next to godliness’ though it is not in scripture it defiantly is a wise saying. Even if you are extremely busy, take time out to tidy the environment you are in. Take time time to organise your work space. Take time to designate a specific  work area for your home.

 

 

Get a mentor

There are people who have gone ahead of you that could be of assistance to you in regards to guidance of what you need to do. They can also act as guidance for you to get targets done. Prayerfully picking a mentor can assist you in successful accomplishing goals. They may be people who have gone through the exact same things you have gone through and come out on top or gone through similar or they may be people who are where you are trying to get to or people who you simply look up to. Whatever the situation but make sure you check the fruit. There are fake mentors around giving false advice and falsifying a lifestyle they don’t really have so do your investigation and examine fruit before you designate a mentor. Wise counsel from people can really help you to build and get growth achieved in certain areas of life

 

Proverbs 11:14  KJV

‘Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors  there is safety’.

 

Proverbs 11:14 NIV

‘For lack of guidance a nation falls, but victory is won through many advisers’.

 

If you have more tips be sure to share them below. How do you stay productive plus multitasking effectively ?   Don’t be discouraged. Remember you can excel in more than one area Can you have it all?. The key is putting in tools to make sure you are effective in excelling in multiple areas.

Good counsel can give you insight into pitfalls to avoid. They may have walked the exact path or similar path ahead of you soo are able to give practical tips to excel

 

 

Pearl for LV31

 

Is Social Media Sin?

Navigating social Media as a believer is different from when you are not a Christian. Is Social media Sin?.. no Can social media lead to sin?  That’s a different story

Who isn’t on social media?  It seems Every one is using social media these days.  With that comes the social media freedom.-Everyone posting the advice they see fit. People speaking into your life,  people showing bits of their life to impress so on and so forth.  There is no real check of whats posted out there. No social media police to really check the authentic from the fake or The good advice from the random nonsense . Therefore as a Christian checks  need to be put on ground ourselves  to guard our heart from things that could cause a hindrance to our faith and our wellbeing. Infact not just Christians but I believe every person should have checks and balances in place to ensure they keep their mental health intact and guard their emotional wellbeing. Anyone just wakes up and becomes a ‘social media guru’ Advising people. Don’t fall prey to social media

 

Proverbs 4:23 NIV

‘Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it’

Proverbs 4:23 NLT

‘Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life’

• Social media is a blessing not a distraction if used with wisdom

What does it mean to guard your heart? The word guard is defined as ‘watch over in order to protect or control’ or ‘protect against damage or harm’. So in this instance its  a verb- an active word. So we have to do active things and be purposely about keeping our hearts safe.  This scripture is basicly Saying we should protect what gets into our hearts because it affects the way we operate in daily life.

Proverbs 23:7 NJKV ‘ For as he thinks in his heart, so is he’

 

So whatever you believe about yourself will manifest in your life, So what you allow yourself to believe and words that are meditated on will end up affecting the course of your life weather positively or negatively.

1. Be purposeful about the pages you follow. Seek out pages that inspire, build and edify. If you don’t do it on purpose you may end up following random pages  that do the opposite….Hence making social media detrimental to your growth.

2 Be willing to block, unfollow, unsubscribe  to anything that puts you in a negative mood or makes you feel constantly angry or irritated or makes you want to be a different person. Its better to block than stay offended. It is better to block than constantly have to deal with lustful thoughts that will lead us to sin.

3-Time your daily or weekly usage.  As  much as we love social media  it can actually be  time consuming  wasteful  past time. You just logged in for a 5 min scroll or to post something all of a sudden you are 3 hours in laughing at random comedians. Social media is a virtual reality. Not actual reality. Make sure you spend time building your actual life not your social media presence

4- Take it with a pinch of salt. Not everyone is showing you the truth so  it shouldn’t make you feel insecure.  Social media truly is a highlight reel- people show you their best bit’s and a ‘tv show’- people show you what they have put together and want you to see. Not everyone is being real. Even the believers are not all practicing what they preach.  So you can’t use social media personalities as a model to gauge where you should be in life. That can only come from GOD.

5- Check information! Be it scripture or health tips don’t take anyone’s word for it actually go and seek out the information yourself from a verified source. Remember just because someone has 100k followers and a blue tick does not make them a verified source of information or an authority to speak into your life. Seek out information from authentic sources not just from social media. God’s word is a higher form of authority over your life than any person on social media

6- Don’t compare! As I said above social media is really a highlight reel. People may not show you the number of times they failed the exam but they will show you them self in a graduation uniform. They may not show you how many jobs turned them down but they will announce their new job. They may not show you all the disagreements they had with their potential spouse but their happy engagement video will be posted!  No one’s life is perfect so don’t sit feeling like you have it worst than everyone else. Keep your joy. YOU HAVE A LOT TO BE THANKFUL FOR. NEVER FORGET THAT

7- As much as you guard what comes in be sure to guard what comes out! Social media is not the place to insult people. There is a saying ‘the internet never forgets’ I believe its true. Years to come horrible things you have posted about will come back to bite you in the bum. Use discretion in all you post. If you are very angry and have to rant its not the best time to post all over social media. Social media should not replace things you should divulge to God in prayer. Dont have verbal diarrhoea…or finger diarrhea either. If you like to express your feelings invest in a private diary and further more learn to pour out your heart to God

8- Schedule time off. Its soo important to take time to build your actual life. Even if you are a social media influencer you can still take time off to re-evaluate and review. Take time off as a believer seek God’s face and ensure you aren’t missing anything in the season you presently in. Shut out the many influences your heart receives and focus on tuning yourself and focusing your self on hearing from God. Once in a while social media detox is essential,

 

Its essential  you make sure you are happy in real life, you are growing and building in real life not just putting up a front for social media. Social media is a virtual reality. You have a real life to live that has no followers no like button. You have a real destiny ordained by God that you need to fulfil. Let social media be a side dish in life not the main dish. Focus on being all God has called you to be in real life not just on social media. I titled this article Can social media lead to sin? and the answer is yes but we need to ensure that we don’t allow ourselves to fall into sin and hinder our life or walk with God from what we view. Social media can defiantly lead your along the wrong way hence we must ensure not to make people on social media our mini gods. Ultimately do not use social media to validate you. Protect your heart and  Navigate with wisdom

Navigate with wisdom

 

Pearl Madé